Mission Statement
At Tartan Paint Fitters we don’t just fit tartan paint, every {JOBTITLE} we employ {RECOMMENDATIONVERB} it. We also have a mission. Somewhere. We’ve lost it, {LOCATION}, under a box or something. One day we will find it. Probably when we aren’t even looking for it. Bloody typical, eh?
Values
We strive to promote a strong set of values. A moral compass and framework to not only live within, but to use as a springboard to excellence. A ladder to loveliness. A little hop-up to pop a nail in the architrave of acceptability and maybe hang a painting from.
Our Story
The company was founded in {NUMBER:FALSE:4:213} B.C. by flint knappers who had recently been put out of work by the newfangled bronze age, and had just seen an episode of Dragons Den.
It spent the next two millenia completely dormant, as no one had remembered to organise someone to come in and open the shop first thing. When they finally agreed on who had to go to bed early, the internet had been invented. Not missing out on an excuse to stay warm in the office, they decided to do it as a website instead.
Once employee of the month ‘{NICKNAME}’ had put down his {OBJECT_SINGULAR} for just long enough to let the {DEPARTMENT} do their bloody job, we were able to open the doors and the rest is history.